you know the feeling of guilt towards the ones u love... well... sometimes i feel dat guilt. towards the boyfie of cuz.

i feel guilty for always snapping at him.
i feel guilty for always shouting at him.
i feel guilty for always sounding rude to him.
i feel guilty for the ways i react towards him.

like this whole week...

the only things i do is snap at his every mistake. shout at him wen he refuse to correct that mistake. which obviously sounds very rude. and jus how fast my hands can slap/hit him everywhere. i dunno what the problem is. but i always end up saying sorry and dat i love him every night.

there was one nite... last Sunday, to be precise... the boy insist on sleeping as he was so tired. i snapped at him for sleeping all day. he haf slept more den 12 hrs in the day and it was only 11pm wen he said he was sleepy. i wonder wat the F*** he did the night before, which was jus hanging out with his friends. of cuz i ignored him and let him do watever he wants. at 11.30 he called again.... sounding tired. asking for the usual kiss before sleep. i 'slapped' him with uninterested kisses and hung up. he didnt call again.

so, being me, curious, i called him. no answer. call again. no answer. call again. no answer. and wen he answer, it was nearly 12mn. he said he didnt hear his phone ringing. he was having his back massaged by his little brother. i hung up again. im so pissed. i continue to ignore him.

at 12.20, he called and bluntly said, "Baby, Happy 42 month anniversary!!"
he left me speechless.

i couldnt snap back at him cuz he remembered, when i slipped.
i couldnt shout/scold him cuz he sound so sweet and romantic.
i couldnt do anything other den melt and follow whatever he desires.

and dat is how irritating/sweet my boyfriend is.

and i think, i should be thankful for having him around. =)

Labels: adiqah, anniversary, ramblings

10:12 AM